Skip to main content

Bridging the Divide

I have a lot of people on my social media who are quite outspoken about their political leanings and beliefs.  I frequently see them clash with other ideologies and usually it just escalates to a point where anger and a need to be right start running the conversation rather than reason and level-headed logic.  One of the topics I saw today was how white people don't like discussing race.  Which I largely agree with and the person who posted it is someone I tend to agree with most of the time.  And while I do agree with him on this statement, my full response is much more nuanced than that and I think offers some insight as to the "why" that comes after making a statement like that.  So here it goes.

People don't like to be demonized.  Period.  It really is that simple.  Our natural reaction to being demonized is defiance and hostility.  Wouldn't you agree?  If I walk up to a random person and start calling them racist, whether they are or aren't, they will become defensive and start involuntarily defending themselves against those demonizing claims.  They will distance themselves from the accusations as much as possible.  It is how humans tend to be wired by default.

So if you translate that to a random white person who just wakes up every day and goes to work to provide for themselves and/or their family or someone who grew up in a smaller town with few or no minorities and who doesn't follow politics or social issues and start telling them that they are pieces of shit unless they agree with this concept that they may not have really thought about too much their first reaction to that demonization (which to them is coming out of nowhere) is going to be defiance to whatever it is you're accusing them of.

Yet those who study these political or social issues every day and have become so familiar with the concepts just can't fathom why they aren't wallowing in shame and coming over to your side without question and adopting your views.  After all, you told them 100 years of facts in 30 seconds, how could they not understand what it is that you're saying to them?  My point with all of this is that I agree with your concepts, but I disagree with your delivery methods.  Overbearing chastisement of something people had no hand in choosing will not spark a rational discussion and change.  It will create division and it will further drive the wedge between you making it even harder for someone to stop digging in with their defiance.  It could even drive them in the opposite direction if the only interactions they have with the topic are like this.  There is a divide that needs to be bridged before information can start flowing properly between the two parties, and I feel like that's what is missing.  Not that there is a growing group of racists trying to seize power.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Place In The Universe

We live on one simple planet, Earth.  That planet is about 12,712 kilometers in diameter from pole to pole.  The entire human species is just a speck on the face of this planet.  That planet is part of a solar system made up of 8 other planets which revolve around an average star that we call the sun.  Our solar system is approximately 287.46 billion kilometers in diameter.  Just to give you some perspective on our small little tucked away corner of the universe, the Voyager 1 probe was launched from earth on September 5, 1977 and has been traveling ever since.  The total mission duration is about 36 and a half years.  During this time, the probe has traveled at a velocity of 17 kilometers every second (that's 11 miles every second).  As of August 25, 2012, the voyager finally left our solar system and ventured into interstellar space.  That is the scope of our solar system.  Let's move out a little more and see how small this massive so...

Respecting Beliefs

You hear it all the time.  "respect my beliefs!"  you've all heard that phrase repeatedly right?  When is it usually said?  Usually anytime that you disagree with someone's beliefs and they don't really want to talk about it anymore. I say fuck that phrase.  No belief demands respect by default.  Nor should it ever be so concrete that it ever demands respect.  I respect that you have the right to believe whatever you want, and that is very important.  However, the beliefs that we hold, individually, should be tested and challenged constantly.  "But I don't know enough about the intricacies to defend it".  Fair point, but then again maybe you shouldn't espouse it as a belief then if that is the case.  If you can't pose a justified reason as to why your belief is true, then you probably shouldn't hold it as a belief.  If you don't know, just say you don't know.  There is no shame in that, and it is far more honest of a posit...

The Beautiful Chaos of Kids

Everybody thinks that they know exactly how to raise kids...when they don't have kids.  When you've got the time to sit and ponder and think and spend days, weeks, potentially months finding solutions to complex problems of child behavior it all seems so simple. The truth of the matter is that you are never going to have all of the answers readily at your disposal.  You will make good decisions and bad decisions.  Some days will go smoothly, some will go very badly.  You will be exhausted most days and the answers that once seemed so clear in the silence of your pre-child life will be increasingly absent as you go along.  You will try your best, and that's all you can do.  Others will constantly criticize you for decisions you make and how you handle things with your children.  Especially people who have no kids.  Don't waste too much time trying to explain yourself to them or trying to justify yourself to them.  They just simply don't unders...