I dislike the notion of a "no matter what" friend. I'm not a fan of the notion of "nothing you do will make me leave". While I understand that we need to help those around us and we need to encourage them and support them and be there for them, there should absolutely be a point where you walk away. Nothing saying that you can't reconnect later, but someone who knows that no matter how terrible they are to those around them that they will never leave, it gives no incentive to be a decent human being. They know that they can say the most horrific things to those that love them and they'll still be there. I posit that realizing that there are ways that you can't treat people, things you can't do, things you can't say, without losing those people in your life gives them a boundary point. It makes them assess how they treat their friends and family. And just like a toddler who is throwing a fit, if you eventually realize that bad behavior nets bad consequences, you'll hopefully realize it and correct your behavior.
I constantly see people reinforcing the idea that their friends with someone no matter how they treat them, and they are usually the ones who treat people the worst. Loyalty is a two way street. Friendships and trust can absolutely be broken. If they can't, then what reason does someone have to treat people well? What reason do they have to treat people fairly? What reason do they have to give as much as they get? It gives nothing. And because of that you will frequently see abusive relationships, bad friendships, and overall unhealthy interactions. I will be there to help you as best as I can, but if you abuse my trust, or treat me badly, or act like our friendship is one-directional, I'm gone. You can then face the choice of staying the person you are or changing to become a better person to those around you. If you choose the latter, we can reconnect and heal our wounds at that point. But I refuse to waste any shred of my life on people who think I should just get over their behavior or that I should just put up with them because they are selfish or otherwise disposed to abuse people.
So the next time I see posts on Facebook or social media or any other Internet social space about someone espousing to "need someone who will never give up on them!", I automatically assume they are not the best person to interact with. It almost directly tells you that they are going to demand a lot of patience and they are going to almost certainly treat you incorrectly. Otherwise, that thought would never enter their head. If you are a good person and treat people with respect and understand the dynamic of human social interactions, you don't "need" someone to look past your horrible attitude. You simply cast it aside and try to be a better person. Anyways, that's my rant for today. People need to stop babying people and force their hand. You are absolutely free to live whatever way you want and to treat people however you want, but just know that if you treat people poorly, people will leave you for people who don't act like that. And in my eyes, they are right to do so.
I constantly see people reinforcing the idea that their friends with someone no matter how they treat them, and they are usually the ones who treat people the worst. Loyalty is a two way street. Friendships and trust can absolutely be broken. If they can't, then what reason does someone have to treat people well? What reason do they have to treat people fairly? What reason do they have to give as much as they get? It gives nothing. And because of that you will frequently see abusive relationships, bad friendships, and overall unhealthy interactions. I will be there to help you as best as I can, but if you abuse my trust, or treat me badly, or act like our friendship is one-directional, I'm gone. You can then face the choice of staying the person you are or changing to become a better person to those around you. If you choose the latter, we can reconnect and heal our wounds at that point. But I refuse to waste any shred of my life on people who think I should just get over their behavior or that I should just put up with them because they are selfish or otherwise disposed to abuse people.
So the next time I see posts on Facebook or social media or any other Internet social space about someone espousing to "need someone who will never give up on them!", I automatically assume they are not the best person to interact with. It almost directly tells you that they are going to demand a lot of patience and they are going to almost certainly treat you incorrectly. Otherwise, that thought would never enter their head. If you are a good person and treat people with respect and understand the dynamic of human social interactions, you don't "need" someone to look past your horrible attitude. You simply cast it aside and try to be a better person. Anyways, that's my rant for today. People need to stop babying people and force their hand. You are absolutely free to live whatever way you want and to treat people however you want, but just know that if you treat people poorly, people will leave you for people who don't act like that. And in my eyes, they are right to do so.
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